A groundbreaking new study proves beyond any doubt that establishing the New World Order Midwitocracy has been a resounding success. We will report on this monumental study in a five-part series. Part One:
In a globally televised ceremony at Davos, a syndicate of think tanks—staffed with impeccably LinkedIn-validated experts pulled from the finest HR databases and assembled under the watchful eye of their generous Bilderberger corporate and Deep State intelligence handlers—have declared that their social engineering experiment to fill all institutions with Midwits has managed to keep civilization “stable-ish” and will, barring WWIII, continue to do so until NSA-aligned AGI comes fully online in 2030 and finishes vacuuming out any last vestige of free will.
Their study, The Midwitocracy Paradigm, profusely praises the Midwits—those sharp enough to oppress but dull enough to mistake tyranny for progress–who will ensure that every moment of your life is drenched in safe, state-approved sedation. Because who needs messy autonomy when sedation is so delightfully soothing?
The Mockingbird Legacy Media —those neutered stenographers of elite power and gig workers for the CIA—have hailed the study with typical Pavlovian applause. Their audiences, lobotomized by algorithmically curated clickbait and dopamine-drip feeds, muttered “Huh?” as they dutifully retweeted the official slogans. Isn’t that the pinnacle of progress? A populace so tranquillized that “Why?” has been replaced with “Whatever you say.”
According to this new research, the experts who orchestrated this moral coup de grâce are as spiritually radiant as the HR-PR semi-human drones who quietly rewrite ethical codes and dictionary definitions to suit their Midwit ideology. The authors report that the world must now bow before this caste of tepid intellects, the Midwits—known by their jealous critics or victims as the “Nitwits”—who shall usher us into an age of glorious intellectual vegetation as a prelude to the AI singularity.
The Apotheosis of Midwitocracy
Corporate yes-men have heralded The Midwitocracy Paradigm as the intellectual masterstroke of the millennium, a New Magna Carta of Mediocrity—final proof that all official positions in the institutions and bureaucracies of the world must be entrusted to those too timid to question the neo-feudalist techno-fascist globalist puppet masters. The study shows that Midwits are the perfect custodians of modern mediocrity: predictable, obedient, and so insulated from self-awareness that they can rationalize any absurdity as “best practices.” From enforcing lockdowns for flu to rebranding Orwellian surveillance as “public health,” their creed is simple: Never ask why—only ask how.
Big thinkers would upset the apple cart; simpletons might accidentally blow up the cart. Midwits, though, will carefully catalogue each apple and file compliance memos about the cart’s paint job and never once entertain the heretical notion that the cart’s headed straight off a cliff.
Midwits strike the perfect balance: they're reliable, predictable, and endlessly susceptible to their own propaganda - from their colleagues in HR, PR, corporate media, and every three-letter agency of the Psycho Nanny State.
Gone are the days when intellectuals might question the meaning of the system. Instead, such dissenters are diagnosed by the faceless bureaucrats and political elites as cognitive disruptors and swiftly “treated” with a pharmacological orgy of Safe & Effective Brain-Bleach Jabs™, aka MK-Ultra 3.5. Isn’t it comforting to know that every dangerous idea can now be treated as a curable disorder?
Part Two in a five-part series reporting on the groundbreaking new study “The Midwitocracy Paradigm”
The Midwit Priesthood
“Midwits form the precious grey sludge that keeps the leaky hull of civilization afloat, and every bureaucratic crevice filled,” says the co-author of the new study The Midwitocracy Paradigm, Dr. Yesman, who identifies as a “Midwit Whisperer” and whose doctoral thesis consisted entirely of looping near identical PowerPoint slides on “Reinforcing Hierarchies Through Rote Affirmation.”
His claim: Midwits neither spark nor sabotage; they implement, they coordinate, they fill out forms, and then file those forms in triplicate. Their genius? An unwavering loyalty to official decrees no matter how tyrannical. And who wouldn’t want to entrust the fate of civilization to such obedient custodians of mediocrity?
To these tyrannical mental foot soldiers of the Midwit Priesthood, an insane directive is never “wrong”—it’s simply awaiting a PDF instruction manual. Faced with obvious ethical horror, Midwits react not by questioning the premise of authoritarian mandates but by adjusting the font in their public relations presentation slides or seeking the nearest Big Brother committee-approved FAQ for procedural reassurance.
By converting top-down decrees into an infinite sub-order matrix, Midwits serve as the clerical lever-pullers who keep the colossal machine chugging along—churning out meaningless paperwork and endless re-education modules—aka HR Maoist Struggle Sessions—disguised as "Team-Building Retreats" to maintain the Midwitocracy.
Instead of wondering if a blueprint is a fever dream scrawled by a coked-up hedge fund manager or ideologically possessed moron, Midwits obediently build the nightmare, maintain it, and file quarterly reports praising it.
The Midwit Magicians conjure endless motivational slogans in HR workshops, furnishing the New Normal with compliance handbooks so dense they could crush a philosopher’s skull. This new priesthood knows that a universally tranquillized populace can’t rebel if it can’t think.
The Creed of Midwitocracy
“Would you trust a genius who might suggest unplugging the entire financial doomsday engine?” asks Dr. Yesman, stroking his credentialed chin. “Or a fool who might whack at it with a spoon, inadvertently freeing the peasants from their digital indentureship? No, it is far better to have Midwit drones whose creed is to never lift the lid on Pandora’s Box until, for example, they are sure they have a half-baked “solution” to their manufactured crises ready to go, such as pseudo-tested pharmaceuticals pumped out at warp speed by the billion doses or Holy Land Ethnic Cleanser Drones™.
In the Midwit Utopia, the intellectual landscape flattens into a single grey plain of obedience. Everyone keeps busy—ever so busy—producing compliance documents and reciting mission statements. Bureaucracy becomes a kind of secular liturgy; nothing is questioned, only catalogued. It’s a machine that recycles its own excrement and calls it fertilizer, feeding new generations of HR-approved drones.
When everyone agrees to the same mediocrity, isn’t that the true essence of peace? Unfortunately, in terms of peace, Midwitocracy also leads to forever wars and the deaths of millions; however, on the bright side, there are great economic opportunities in the aftermath of the ethnic cleansing bloodbaths, and how else can we expect to keep population growth in check (besides pushing the products of Big pHarma and Big Food, obviously)?
Midwitocracy in Action: Enshrining Mediocrity as Policy
The report's exhibits read like sacred scripture to synthetic complexity worshipers. Take global finance, an ecosystem so labyrinthine that even its architects have lost track of what’s happening (although they somehow always manage to come out ahead of those they are supposed to serve). Midwits thrive here, generating layers of incomprehensible jargon, ensuring no one ever dares ask, “Is this system moral or sane?” Instead, everyone toils to meet next quarter’s compliance targets—an Ouroboros of pointless busywork rebranded as “progress.”
In the Midwitocratic Justice System, those who dare to make mean tweets, for example, are quickly arrested by the official Uniformed Psycho Nanny Yesmen and charged with Orwellian Non-crime Hate Incidents; those who persist are exchanged with real criminals at the local prison. It’s a win-win plan from the Midwitocracy: those with non-State sanctioned thoughts are removed from polite society, whilst physically violent career criminals are given another opportunity to create mayhem and distractions from the white-collar crimes, social engineering, and civilizational ending schemes of the elites.
Part Three: The Perfect Level of Stupidity, Cognitive Terrorism, and The Midwitocratic Five-Year Plan
The Perfect Level of Stupidity
Midwit stupidity is the faceless infiltrator of every institution, a silent force that needs no manifestos or conscious intent. It is the perfect accomplice to the New Normal Utopia: indifferent, persistent, and utterly immune to reason. It feels no pangs of conscience. It marches forward with unshakable confidence, fueled by a little knowledge—just enough to enable hubris—and fortified by unthinking certainty.
In the dystopia of the Midwitocracy, stupidity reigns supreme not as an error but as a carefully calibrated asset. The system thrives on a delicate balance: its functionaries must be just intelligent enough to execute commands precisely but not so thoughtful as to question their orders. This is the perfect level of stupidity—a state where a quasi-competence coexists with compliance, and limited neurons are harnessed solely to perpetuate the machinery of control.
Consider the behaviour of the perfect Midwit. When presented with contradictions, they do not investigate but rationalize. When faced with absurdity, they do not question but adapt. They live in a state of cognitive dissonance, insulated from doubt by a fortress of pre-approved narratives. Their stupidity is not born simply of ignorance but cultivated through relentless exposure to their own propaganda.
In this way, stupidity becomes a lubricant for tyranny. The stupid volunteer for their chains, marching into the jaws of autocracy while chanting the praises of their fellow authoritarians. They cheer as freedoms are sold for security and celebrate their own servitude as progress.
Plain old evil doesn’t hold a candle to Midwit stupidity.
Cognitive Terrorism
Not everyone is dazzled by Midwitocratic grandeur. A loose alliance of dissident scientists, whistleblowers, and conspiracy realists—dismissed as “cognitive terrorists”—dares to question this triumphant Midwitocracy and speak of moral bankruptcy, civilizational decay, and creeping totalitarianism. The report preemptively slaps them down as “brain plagues” infecting the body politic. Remember: too much skill or insight can destabilize a system that thrives on endless, supervised ignorance.
Sensible reasoning based on honest and reproducible experimental data is replaced by "Manufactured Evidence-Suggested Compliance," reviewed by their Midwit peers. This user-friendly cognitive setting ensures that all facts funnel neatly into pre-approved narratives.
As a further remedy for subversive thought, the authors prescribe more LinkedIn seminars, more TED Talk dosing, more HR Maoist struggle sessions, and more Leadership Webinars on Safe and Effective Thinking Protocols™. It’s all “for the greater good,” naturally.“
Genuine expertise and critical reasoning are slated for extinction—dangerous relics of a bygone era that must be eradicated to maintain a stable supply of corporate drones.
The Midwitocratic Five-Year Plan
The study proposes a “Midwitocratic Five-Year Plan” to re-sculpt public education into a compliance factory, enabling an endless supply of obedient Midwits.
Children will learn to revere pre-packaged narratives, reciting the Official Catechism of Obedience each morning, aka The Sacred Oath of Midwitocracy: “I shall never aim above the comfort zone nor poke the sleeping bear of consensus.”
To further guarantee a steady supply of docile and compliant New Normal Yes Men™, the report proposes that children also learn the following Thought Protocols by age six:
The Compliant Curiosity Limit: Encouraging children to ask mild clarifications only after consulting the official FAQ.
The Obedience Gambit: A fun, mandatory group activity where children receive badges for refusing to doubt authority.
The Vertical Blink Reflex: Practice staring straight ahead during televised briefings, never sideways at peers who might harbour subversive eyebrows.
In this brave New Normal Curriculum, scepticism becomes a treatable disorder. If a student wonders aloud about the actual purpose of The Midwitocratic Machine, alarm bells ring, and a smiling guidance counsellor leads them to a padded Wellness Pod. where they will be medicated with the latest Safe & Effective Cognitive Dampeners™. Soothing corporate slogans will play endlessly until the child’s rebellious neurons lie dormant.
To sustain the empire of sedation, mutilating medical and psychological interventions must always continue to intensify - like an Orwellian boot stamping on the brain, forever. For every subversive neuron that dares to fire, there’s a new pill, surgery, or mantra to wrestle it into submission.
Part Four: Mandatory Censorship for Emotional Safety™, The Cultural Shrine of Mediocrity: Worshipping the Algorithm, Midwitocracy's Safe Space: Performative Diversity and the End of Inquiry
Mandatory Censorship for Emotional Safety™
The groundbreaking new study, The Midwitocracy Paradigm, endorses “Just Trust Us™” as the prime directive. Citizens are gently reminded that thinking too hard and doing their own research only leads to socially awkward truths that might threaten stock prices, disrupt supply chains of corporate logos, or keep them alive too long.
The good citizen learns not to resist but to nestle comfortably inside the Overton Padded Room. If a neighbour whispers a subversive thought like, “Why do we need a trillion-dollar pharmaceutical bonanza for mild sniffles or overeating?” the correct response is a blank stare followed by a reflexive call to Psycho Nanny HR’s Cognitive Hygiene Hotline™.
Censorship is to be rebranded as Compassionate Mind-Guarding™. The authors of this final solution for human thought wrap themselves in the virtue-draped mantles of “public health,” “community standards,” and “safety.” Don’t ask if they are protecting you or imprisoning you—asking is “unproductive.”
In the land of the Midwit, truth is contraband, and free thought is treason. Big Tech “fact-checkers” double as morality police, and "public health" officials function as compliance auditors. In the Midwitocracy, Your Safety™ justifies endless surveillance, and Our Health™ rationalizes total censorship. Because questioning the doomsday machine is, of course, “dangerous misinformation, and maybe even “Russian Disinformation”.
The Cultural Shrine of Mediocrity: Worshipping the Algorithm
In the age of the Midwit, nothing speaks to the triumph of the perfect level of sanctioned stupidity like our blind veneration of The Algorithm™. Once a tool for efficiency, it’s now an omnipotent deity, presiding over everything from who gets hired to who gets banned from polite society. Because truly, nothing inspires human greatness like the worship of an unthinking algorithm.
Take, for example, the sacred ritual of job applications: a maze of keyword-optimized resumes filtered through AI systems designed to weed out the overqualified (potential troublemakers) and the underqualified (obvious dead weight), leaving only the tepid middle ground of perfect Midwits. “Your resume didn’t have enough synergy,” says the recruiter bot, as the genius with groundbreaking ideas is discarded in favour of someone with five years of experience writing reports nobody reads or, better still, someone fresh out of Woke Central University, and on their 99th Safe and Effective Compliance Booster™.
Then there’s the “data-driven” governance of social media platforms, where algorithms hunt down heretical memes while Nudging™ users toward officially approved narratives. An innocuous joke about inflation, illegal immigration, or Big pHarma corruption gets flagged for “harmful content,” but a 12-part docuseries on the virtues of digital enslavement trends on the front page. Remember: The Algorithm knows best—it’s not censorship; it’s content moderation for your emotional safety.
Midwitocracy's Safe Space: Performative Diversity and the End of Inquiry
Let’s not forget the great Midwitocratic corporate pilgrimage to “diversity,” a phrase stripped of any real meaning for the HR checkbox. This sanitized utopia ensures that everyone in the room looks different but thinks exactly the same. If you disagree with this utopia, you will be branded a “toxic disruptor” and swiftly escorted out by a smiling HR professional armed with a Safe & Effective Termination Script™.
Academia—the supposed bastion of critical thought—has been transformed into a factory for Midwitocracy. Professors now spend more time crafting “land acknowledgement statements” and avoiding microaggressions than engaging with actual ideas. Taxpayer-funded research grants flow like wine, but only for projects that don’t challenge the status quo. A study on the effects of "toxic masculinity in amphibian mating patterns"? Funded. A study questioning the efficacy and safety of a rushed pseudo-trialled modRNA gene therapy? Career suicide.
Part Five: Synthetic Pandemics, The Subjugation Serenade, and Just Trust Us™
Synthetic Pandemics
At the final press briefing—brought to you by Big pHarma and the MIC—the Midwit High Priests presented immaculate charts proving that uniform mediocrity is the apex of human governance. Charts glowed on huge screens during the briefing, showing skyrocketing profits for the military-industrial complex's absolutely essential industries, the beauty of infinite fiat money creation, and the successful marketing of synthetic pandemics and other crises, as opportunities for moral enhancement - all enabled by Midwitocracy.
In the new paradigm, public health emergencies will be rolled out like seasonal fashion lines to keep fear fresh and minds pliable. Any correlation between these emergencies and obscene profiteering by corporate pillars of virtue will be dismissed as “conspiracy thinking,” the cardinal sin in Midwitopia.
The Subjugation Serenade
One can almost hear the lullaby: muffled corporate anthems waft through the Overton Padded Room, where collective intellect drowns in a sea of managerial buzzwords. It’s warm, suffocating, and oh-so safe.
The Midwits need not justify themselves. Their existence is the justification: a living testament to the triumph of weaponized mediocrity. Every time you question, a Midwit shrugs, produces an FAQ, and logs your “uncooperative thought” for future correction. There’s a procedure for everything—except dangerous liberation.
The endless horizon of compliance beckons, decorated with recycled HR slogans and corporate emojis. True creativity? An invitation to chaos. Authentic moral courage? A liability. The Midwit priests promise a future without nightmares—by outlawing dreams. Anyone who dares to glimpse the world beyond these sanctioned illusions is swiftly reconditioned until their eyes glaze like polished tombstones.
The conclusion is mercifully blunt: Dream smaller, think slower, and accept your Midwit overlords as moral shepherds guiding you through a cardboard labyrinth. Embrace the sedation of the intellect. Let the masters of mediocrity steer the ship while you hum corporate anthems in your cubicle, never peeking behind the curtain.
“Just Trust Us™”
“When we surrender to Midwit values,” Dr Yesman intones, “we secure a future where nobody yearns, nobody questions, and nobody disrupts the careful balance of managed decline. True progress might be risky, after all, and it’s so much safer to just trust us.”
The future belongs to those who nod, agree, and never read the fine print. Citizens who publicly recite “Just Trust Us™—Safer Not to Ask” before performing their morning exercises in front of the National Compliance Mural earn extra loyalty credits (redeemable for a ten-percent discount on official Midwit Merch from the Psycho Nanny Approved™ social media influencers).
The study assures us that surrendering to the gentle hum of compliance is the bravest choice anyone can make - stunning and brave. After all, why strain your brain cells when “Just Trust Us™” is available at zero cognitive cost and yields endless rewards—like never having to wonder what’s actually going on?
“We’re all in this together!”
In the final tally, what remains? A planet ruled by dull-witted functionaries who measure success in how efficiently they can purge originality from the human genome. What’s not to like about that?
Any attempt to resist must be ridiculed, censored, or treated. This is the peace of the graveyard, the silence of a species that surrendered its soul efficiently without firing a shot. It’s all so much easier when nobody yearns, nobody learns, and nobody dares to ask what might lie beyond the heavy drapes of authorized reality. In the darkness behind that curtain, a thousand banished truths scream silently.
Thus, the machine grinds on, consuming minds like fuel and excreting perfectly compliant husks. The future is sealed, the horizon is blank, and the soul is collateral damage. And the people cheer, half-asleep, grateful for the soothing numbness that spares them the burden of genuine consciousness.
As the last neuron of doubt fizzles, the Midwit chorus intones its final, comforting mantra: “We’re all in this together—safely, effectively, and without a single disruptive thought.”
Bravo, Mr Aldred! Though I must admit that it's slightly terrifyingly when the satires start writing themselves.