Forget About the Creep

Just trust us, and stop asking inconvenient questions about Epstein.

Trump just held a press conference and was asked about Epstein. Here’s the transcript (transcribed by one of my assistants, so it may have a few words incorrect, here and there—and unless you watch the conference, you’ll be wondering which words):

“Stop asking questions. How many times do I have to tell you — there is nothing to see here, folks. Nothing at all. Believe me. Nobody knows more about creeps than me — I know them better than anyone. Everybody says so. To Make America Great Again, we gotta move on. Just forget about Epstein. He was a creep. A total creep. But we have so many creeps. Tremendous amounts of creeps.

Some creeps, I gotta be honest with you, they host beautiful charity galas in Florida — the best galas, everybody loves them. Some creeps fly on beautiful private jets — very classy, very exclusive, some of the best jets. Some creeps, you wouldn’t believe this, they run foundations — huge foundations, very charitable. Are you gonna dig up dirt on every creep? You’d never get anything done. Total waste of time.

People come up to me — big people, very important people — and they say, ‘Sir, should we keep talking about Epstein?’ And I say, ‘No. It’s disrespectful. It’s a desecration. A total desecration of our great country.’

We have bigger things to worry about, folks. Look, the FBI — they’re wonderful people, some of them, not all of them — they said there’s no client list. So there’s no client list. Nobody’s ever seen it. They looked for it — they didn’t find it. End of story. So smart.

Don’t talk about the tapes. There are no tapes. Never were. I know tapes. I have the best tapes. If there were tapes, I’d know. But there aren’t. Never were. Don’t talk about the plane, the island, the cameras that just — eh — didn’t work. Bad cameras, very bad. So disrespectful to the victims, by the way — beautiful victims, incredible people. They signed NDAs, very strong NDAs — totally legal, totally normal.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘But what about what you said back in 2002?’ Yes, I’ll say it: ‘I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.’ That was me telling the truth — and who hasn’t said that? We’re all grownups! But that was then, folks. That was decades ago. We’ve moved on.

Now, look — people say, ‘Sir, what about Bibi?’ Let me tell you, Bibi — Prime Minister Netanyahu — greatest man in the world. Maybe the greatest man ever. Nominated me for the Nobel Peace Prize — so smart. He’s not a creep. Not even close. People say things, bad people, but I know. He’s a friend. Amazing friend. Best friend. Greatest man. And I know great men. Some say Jesus, I say Bibi — and he says I’m the greatest, so it works out beautifully.

So be a patriot. Be smart. Forget about it. We’ve got bigger things — like Alligator Alcatraz. The other day, I told people who might try to escape, ‘You’ve gotta zig-zag through the swamp — don’t run straight — maybe it ups your chances by a whole 1%!’ The media loved that — tremendous line. We’re even thinking of turning it into the greatest reality TV show ever, folks. Better ratings than The Apprentice, believe me.

But Epstein? Forget it. Creeps happen. Some of them were friends of mine — some of the best people, but then they went bad. Amazing people, for a time. But creeps, yes. Happens.

So stand up, salute the flag, sing the anthem, praise Bibi, and Go Alligator Alcatraz! You’re gonna love it. America’s gonna be great again — if you just forget about the creep.

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P.S. This is a must-watch:

Read this instead of asking questions about Epstein: